


On His Part

by peppermintquartz



Series: Bleachverse: Red Black White Gold [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Byakuya is Bossy, Kissing, M/M, Male Slash, Office Sex, Oral Sex, Renji is a sex magnet, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-06
Updated: 2012-06-06
Packaged: 2017-11-07 01:33:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/425450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppermintquartz/pseuds/peppermintquartz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Offshoot of Every Man's Fantasy. Something strange develops after that ridiculous night, and Byakuya is in complete denial.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. on His Part

“ _I don't like cold tea. Bring me another cup.”_

_Abarai seemed to consider before a strange smile lit up his features. He said, “Taichou, I could...uh, warm this up for you.”_

_Byakuya's lashes lowered and he tilted his head slightly. That sounded promising. He put his hands on Abarai's knees and leaned in. “Then it had better be good and hot.”_

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Byakuya polished his sword. He tried to block the memory with the mind-numbing routine of caring for Senbonzakura. Not that it needed to be polished, but the sheath received quite a bit of daily wear-and-tear.

Sadly the displacement activity did not work.

Byakuya gritted his teeth. He would forget. He had to forget. Else he would never be able to glare into his lieutenant's eye and tell him off without thinking of _those full, soft, kissed-pink lips; the slight pucker; the feel of Abarai's tongue sliding into his mouth, opening to him willingly; the clear taste of tea and something distinctly Abarai..._

Byakuya bent to his task again.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

“Nii-sama.”

“What is it?” Now that she was training with the Inoue girl Rukia was hardly about the mansion.

Rukia cleared her throat uncertainly. “Um, Ukitake-taichou said I should report to you every week just to update you on my progress.”

“I see.” He didn't turn his head to look at her. “And how is your progress?”

“I've achieved the third dance,” she began. He nodded, still not looking at her. “And Inoue's defensive abilities are remarkable.”

“I see.”

“And, um... Renji said he wishes to apologize, but he's afraid you'll cut his head off the moment you see him.”

_Smart of him._ “Why would I do that, pray?”

Rukia must have felt the upsurge in killing intent. Byakuya dampened his reaction and she finally stammered, “Because of what happened the other day, when we all fell under Urahara-san's pill's influence... and um, he told me he kind of... overstepped the bounds.”

_That's a nice way to phrase 'sticking his tongue down my throat'._

“If he wants to apologize, he can do it to my face instead of sending a representative.”

Rukia remained kneeling until her brother swept out of the room.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

When Abarai tiptoed into the office he was unusually meek. “Taichou.”

“Abarai. I trust Rukia has passed on my message.” Byakuya focused on his papers. Something stirred beneath his diaphragm when the lieutenant spoke, and he wondered what it was.

_It is nothing to be concerned about. He is only a lieutenant; you've fired more lieutenants than any other captain. He is no different from those you've fired. Except his mouth tastes really good..._

_Get to work, Byakuya. Don't go there._

Abarai rubbed the tip of his nose. “Uh... taichou, about the other evening, I did what I had to to give you the antidote...”

“Ah yes, the tea.” Byakuya stood and walked to the windows. He watched the vista of shinigami going about their business for a few minutes before returning his attention to his lieutenant. “You could have dissolved another one, couldn't you? Instead of force-feeding me?”

_Force? I cannot believe I'm lying outright again._

“Force-fee...? Oh, um... I didn't have enough pills for all affected, so I couldn't get you another.”

The lieutenant was blushing. Byakuya observed the flush of red up the man's neck and around the ears, the way he was rubbing his nose again, the _very tempting lips parted with an embarrassed grin..._

He shook his head. “Abarai, staying with Urahara is dangerous.”

_Don't I know it._

“Don't I know it,” mumbled the redhead. Aloud he said, “He's promised to not dose me anymore.”

Byakuya could feel warmth stealing around his loins. He glanced at the taller shinigami and his own lips parted. There was definitely a sizzle in the air. His lieutenant must be an idiot, because right now he knew the truth.

_That madman must have dosed him again; I can feel myself... no. Don't even think about it. Don't._

“I think he... lied.” Byakuya's breath was becoming shallow; he felt lightheaded. Just as he did that day last week, before the highly embarrassing conclusion that same evening took place.

_Highly arousing.n. no. Don't. Go. There. That way lies madness._

“Really? Why do you think- mmmph!”

This kiss was different from the pill-induced ones that evening. Those had been... sweet. Abarai had sipped the tea and 'fed' his taichou mouthful by mouthful, although by the third or fourth kiss there was less tea and more tongue. Lots more tongue. And hands. And legs. And skin...

_I am going there._

Abarai's arms tried to find some form of support but could only gra" onto his captain's shoulders. As his fingers clenched Abarai felt Byakuya shove him against the closed door.

_Madness! This is insane! What if someone walks in? Hears us?_

_He is delicious... madness! Kuchiki Byakuya, get a grip!_

His ardor rising, Byakuya reached up behind the redhead and undid his hair. Crimson locks tumbled down, brushing the captain's hands. The dark-haired shinigami grabbed a fistful and pressed himself closer to his lieutenant's body.

_This feels so... wild. I'm insane. I must be under some weird influence again._

_I don't care._

Abarai, being taller, had to bend down to meet Byakuya's mouth. The captain found it inconvenient and dragged both of them, still in deep lip-lock, to the visitor's couch. Byakuya practically had to wrestle him down; Abarai was fighting him to be on top.

_Oh no you don't._

Byakuya kissed the edges of Abarai's mouth. The lieutenant inhaled sharply, and Byakuya took advantage of the break in concentration to invade his mouth again. This time there was no tea, but the unique taste that was Abarai filled his senses. Byakuya was only vaguely cognizant that he had dropped his captain's coat and was fumbling with Abarai's belt.

Oddly enough the younger shinigami was now quite docile, moaning into Byakuya's mouth when the captain withdrew his tongue. Swiftly his own followed, and Byakuya savored the long-buried memory and sensation. How long has it been since he kissed like this? Or had been kissed like this?

_Just last week, when he served me tea._

_Best tea I ever had._

Byakuya realized his lieutenant was undoing his uniform. The feel of the large, calloused hands on his own smooth skin was unbearable. He followed Abarai's lead, wanting to caress the broad chest now pinned beneath him. His fingers traced over the torso, feeling little scars and nicks from various fights the lieutenant had been in since childhood.

So very different from his own.

From the last sentence Abarai spoke to their current wrestling on the couch, neither had come up for air. Both pulled away for an instant. Dark blue eyes glared heatedly into deep red irises, and they were at it again, Byakuya now allowing his lieutenant to take the lead.

_Is he entirely insane too?_

_This feels right._

Abarai yanked the kenseiken out of Byakuya's hair, and ran his fingers through the black locks. He grabbed his captain's face to press him closer, guiding Byakuya's willing lips to his neck, his collarbone, his chest... Abarai hissed when Byakuya, reclaiming control, took hold of Abarai's left nipple in his lips and teeth. Half opening his eyes, he saw the redhead breathing erratically through his mouth as Byakuya ran his tongue over the hostage between his teeth. Feeling strangely mischievous, the dark-haired captain sucked and licked while sliding his free hand down the tattooed body.

He kept the younger shinigami preoccupied by alternately licking, sucking and nipping both nipples, all the while relieving him of his pants. When his hand brushed the lieutenant's erection, he heard Abarai suppress a cry. Feeling all too hot himself, Byakuya struggled out of his own hakama.

_This is madness. We're in the office, it's day, anyone can come in and witness this... this travesty._

_But this feels too good to stop._

“Taichou, wait- please.. aahh... taichou...” Renji uttered, groaning, the unfamiliar and fiery sensation of his manhood rubbing against another driving him nuts. “Fuck...”

_Was it a plea or a curse?_

_Do I care?_

“I won't hurt you,” snarled Byakuya, already cupping and stroking his target. “I'm not going to hurt you.”

Abandoning dignity, he knelt on the floor between Abarai's knees, closed his mouth about the head and licked the slit, earning a shudder and another groan from the lieutenant. He took the length in his mouth, his tongue and lips working the shaft. His hands held the redhead's hips down; he was going to enjoy the madness for as long as he could, before they both came to their senses.

Abarai grabbed a handful of black silk locks, trying to convey what his incoherent mind could not. Byakuya reached blindly around him. Pressing himself against Abarai's shaft Byakuya tried to bear with his own ache between his legs. He pulled away from the erection, laving kisses around the base and running his tongue along the entire length. His fingers played with the tight muscles of his buttocks, and soon found a spot to press between his entrance and the sac that made Abarai whimper with pleasure. Hard licks, soft licks, fast and hard, long and slow...The redhead started bucking his hips, his toes curling. Byakuya took him in his mouth again, as far down his throat as he could, before he felt the pungent, sticky ejaculate fill his mouth.

For someone who had not indulged in pleasure for half a century, Byakuya suddenly realized that he was remarkably gifted in the application of theory to practice. Things he had only ever heard of, discussed by the coarser, uncouth captains and officers, he had put to good use.

Byakuya heard himself cursing softly after he swallowed, the words familiar to his ears but not to his tongue. He had picked up some bad habits without his realizing either, Byakuya thought distractedly even as he kissed the softening member, licking it clean. There was nothing around that would allow him to take the lieutenant the way he really wanted. It would hurt too much.

Abarai must have come to the same conclusion because he grabbed the captain and kissed him, hard, and flooded Byakuya's mouth with the double flavors of Abarai Renji.

Before Byakuya could resist Abarai was on the floor, with him, and he was licking and kissing down the captain's torso and abdomen. His large hands pressed Byakuya down, groping and stroking with strong, roughened fingers.

“Abarai-”

“Shut up.”

_If I were... myself I'd kill... him._

_But he's doing such... a good job... oh gods..._

Byakuya's eyes rolled back in his head as his lieutenant's hand wrapped around his erection and his mouth enveloped the tip. With a insolent smirk at his captain's face Abarai took the length into his mouth, and pinned Byakuya's body down with his large arms. He hummed deep in his throat as he pumped, and increased the frequency when Byakuya writhed and tried to thrust upward.

_He's done... he's done this before. Oh gods... who?_

His hands now reached for the crimson locks that spilled over his lower abs. Byakuya wanted to see his face, his eyes that burned with a red flame, but his vision was blurred and unfocused. The lieutenant was moving his mouth along the entire erection, his teeth scraping just enough to drive Byakuya wilder. The redhead also found the same spot that Byakuya found, and teased the captain as much as the captain could bear. Abarai proceeded to demonstrate how experienced he was, and Byakuya had to clamp down the shout that threatened to escape as he came, thrusting hard into Abarai's face.

As their passions wound down, they untangled themselves and grappled for their clothes. Both assiduously avoided eye contact; the captain bit down on his abrupt desire to skewer Abarai into the wall with Zabimaru and Senbonzakura.

Working his mouth to generate saliva, Byakuya said coldly, “I'm going to burn the furniture.”

“Good idea. And maybe send someone to disinfect the room. Twice.”

“I don't need your advice, lieutenant.”

“Whatever, taichou,” the redhead replied snidely. Abarai tried to detangle his crimson mop, gave up, and got up. “I'm getting a drink.”

Byakuya pulled his hair back from his face. “Get me some tea.”

They both halted. And looked at each other. Hungrily.

_To hell with dignity._


	2. Snowed In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya and Renij are snowed in. Byakuya is not happy about this.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

They were snowed in.

Kuchiki Byakuya glared out the small grimy window at the snow, blaming the gently drifting flakes for his predicament. He hated being stuck in one location, especially when the one location was co-inhabited by his lieutenant.

As for Abarai Renji, the redhead was just gazing at the falling whiteness. He had always been fascinated by snow. It also brought back memories of aching, gnawing hunger, of cold, of hugging Rukia and the rest of their crew together in that little shack smelling of loneliness and abandonment and dried beans.

“What is the report from the Twelfth?” the captain snapped suddenly.

“Hmm?” Abarai woke from his reverie. “Uh... ten hours, six at best.”

Byakuya sighed with resignation. If he knew the mission would turn into this... predicament... he would have sent his third and fourth seats. Though, since it _had_ been an arrancar sighting, the Gotei commander-general had decided to be cautious and send the top two officers of the division in charge of the district.

It had been an arrancar, of middling power but tenacious and cunning. Abarai had managed to trap it with Zabimaru before Byakuya slew it with an unreleased Senbonzakura. An uneventful mission, other than the sudden bout of heavy snow.

The snow was pretty, he had to admit, but he was never a person who enjoyed winter. He was already cold enough; the scarf about his neck was as much for the warmth as for the status it proclaimed. He always felt the chill too easily.

“Be nice if we could have marshmallows,” remarked Abarai, as he examined the small hut they had taken shelter in.

“What are marshmallows?”

“Soft white lumps of gooey goodness,” said Abarai with a broad grin. “Ichigo introduced them to us. They tasted great, roasted over a fire. Speaking of which...”

There wasn't any kindling. Abarai shrugged and broke an old chair into pieces, tossing it into the fireplace.

Byakuya interrupted. “Let me light the fire.”

“I know the spell, taichou.”

“Yes, and you might just blow up the house should you forget to regulate the flow of reiatsu.” Byakuya stepped forward, trying not to seem too eager to have warmth. As the wood ignited, he breathed out slowly with satisfaction. Heat washed over him and drove the cold away.

Abarai settled on the floor near the fireplace. “I don't know if it's a good time to mention this, but I have good news and bad news.”

“I'm not inclined to play such games, fukutaichou,” Byakuya remarked, the indirect rebuke evident.

The redheaded shinigami glanced at his captain. “Good news is we have fire and warmth now. Bad news is, that is the only kindling we have.”

Surprised that he hadn't noticed, Byakuya did a quick scan of the room. Indeed, there was no more old furniture to burn for heat. Reiatsu supposedly regulated a person's temperature, but Byakuya knew he would still feel the chill of the snow outside.

“We will deal with the bad news when it arrives,” he said abruptly, not wanting Abarai to see him in a moment of indecision.

“Whatever you say.” Abarai huddled into his cloak and curled into a corner. “I for one will be glad to get out of here.”

“You're not the only one,” Byakuya said under his breath and seated himself directly in front of the dancing flames. Even with the fire and his scarf and the fur-lined cloak he liked to wear, he was beginning to sense the cold inching into his bones. He resisted the urge to hunch into the cloak. Instead he focused on the flames and visualized them filling him from inside.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Byakuya awoke with a shiver. It was pitch dark, and he was certain he was leaning against the wall. Which was strange, because he hadn't been leaning on anything earlier. When did he fall asleep?

Right now his main preoccupation was that he was feeling very cold. The fire had gone out, and even the embers were cold, so that meant it had been perhaps two hours since the fire died. Before he could stop himself, he sneezed.

“Taichou?” asked Abarai.

Byakuya blinked and tried to force his night vision to restore itself. Gradually the homogeneous darkness gave way to shapes and shades of deep grays and browns. Abarai wasn't in sight though.

“Taichou, are you feeling cold?” asked Abarai again.

Now Byakuya realized why he could not see Abarai. What he took for a wall he was leaning against was Abarai's arm. He sat up and kneaded the bridge of his nose.

“How long have I been sleeping?” demanded Byakuya, trying not to sound petulant.

“About three hours or so. The storm's getting worse outside; I lost radio connection,” answered Abarai.

Byakuya sighed. This was horrible. If he was in the human realm, it would have been so simple: just unlock a door into Seireitei. But to be snowed in in Rukongai...

The sigh turned into a choked sneeze. Then Byakuya felt another cloak, rough-woven cotton-and-wool, being draped over him.

“Don't be ridiculous,” he told Abarai. “You'll fall ill too and I will be put to the trouble of doing your work along with mine.”

“Gee, taichou, you're all gratitude.” Abarai withdrew his cloak and wrapped it about himself. “I just thought you needed it more than I do.”

Now Byakuya could almost see his lieutenant. Abarai had let down his hair, apparently to trap more body heat, and was seated in a hunched-up manner.

“I thank you for the sentiment,” Byakuya said at last.

Abarai let out a sound that might have been a snort or a chuckle. “The way you keep sneezing, taichou, I think I might have to pick up _your_ slack.”

“I'll be fine,” said the noble, before rocking back on a sudden and violent exhalation. He regained his composure quickly. “I just need some hot soup and a very hot bath when I reach home. As would you.”

“That sounds real good.”

They settled into a quiet uneasiness. Byakuya wondered why he felt uncomfortable with his lieutenant. They had been working well recently; in fact, their collaboration now possessed a certain level of easygoing informality that had been missing prior to the Rukia incident. But truth was he felt – vulnerable, if that was the word – here in the small room, locked in darkness, with someone his junior and also his subordinate.

He sneezed again, his nose aching on the inside from the abuse.

Abarai stood up. “Alright, that's it. Even if you kill me afterward, you're gonna share this cloak.”

Byakuya forced down an irrational surge of nervousness. “Like I said, I do not wish for you to fall sick. It would really – _aahtchoo!_ \- I'm sorry. It would really be a burden for me.”

“Likewise, taichou.” The tall shinigami sat behind the captain and wrapped his arms about Byakuya, pulling him into the additional warmth of his cloak and his embrace. “There. This should do it – stop fighting to get out! You're letting out all the heat.”

“Abarai Renji, let go of me this instant.”

“Taichou, relax,” said Abarai, tightening his hold instead. “When we were younger, me and Rukia and all the others would hug together in winter so we'd stay warm. It'll be fine.”

“Rukia and I,” Byakuya corrected absently. It _was_ pleasantly warm. If Byakuya really wanted to break free, he could. And Abarai wouldn't dare to presume to start any funny business. Not like that day in the office.

_:If I may be so bold, Kuchiki-sama, you were the one who started it.:_

_Senbonzakura-san, I did not ask for your input._

_:I apologize. I shall withdraw now.:_

In the cage of Abarai's muscled arms, Byakuya focused on the heated breath washing over the left side of his face, on the warmth seeping into him from behind, on the remarkably soft lips on the shell of his left ear...

_Wait a second._

“Abarai-fukutaichou.”

“Yes, taichou?” Abarai answered softly, sounding drowsy. Every syllable tickled the fine hairs near Byakuya's ear and sent tingles that had nothing to do with the snow down the captain's spine. “Something wrong?”

Byakuya shooed the errant thoughts away and invented wildly. “I – I need to shift a little. This position isn't very good for the lower back. I need to sit straighter.”

“Mm-kay.”

The non-word sounded inappropriately seductive, as Abarai obediently spread his legs so Byakuya could settle with his back leaning more fully against Abarai's chest. When strong legs pressed against the outside of his own thighs, Byakuya couldn't help the sudden lurch of his heart.

_I can feel his heartbeat. This is not a good idea._

Abarai's mouth was at Byakuya's ear again. With the slightest motion, Byakuya would be able to press his face against his lieutenant's lips. The arms about Byakuya had relaxed and the hands were over his lower abdomen, practically in his lap. Abarai was leaning forward slightly and his broad chest wrapped about the smaller frame of the noble. It was warm – more than warm – now. Byakuya could smell Abarai: the officer-issue soap and the odd hint of almond and a tinge of sweat and smoke.

_This really isn't a good idea._

Before he could register what he was doing, Byakuya had turned his face to the left. Abarai's soft mouth brushed over his left cheek and the redhead inhaled with sleepy surprise.

“Taichou?”

“I dislike you for putting me in this situation,” Byakuya informed his lieutenant sternly, before sliding his own mouth over Abarai's. The lieutenant had no chance of rebuttal as Byakuya pressed the advantage, tongue slipping into Abarai's mouth and drawing out the taste.

Being in the dark had one advantage, Byakuya realized; he wouldn't be able to see Abarai's shocked expression.

Being in the dark had one disadvantage; Byakuya wouldn't be able to see Abarai properly.

The dark-haired shinigami didn't tear at clothes or try to dominate Abarai, taking his time to appreciate the passionate heat of the kiss now being returned. He twisted around further so he could face his lieutenant and pull that glorious mane of red hair closer to himself. Byakuya could always visualize the blood-red hair in sunlight, catching highlights from brilliant beams and becoming ardent crimson locks. Ignoring Abarai's halfhearted attempts to ask questions, Byakuya rearranged himself so he could sit in the redhead's lap. His pale, gloved hands captured Abarai's face, keeping it close.

Their breaths flowed and mingled as Byakuya continued exploring Abarai's mouth. First a lick over the lower lip, then a roll of his tongue deep inside, then sucking on the younger shinigami's reciprocal deep kiss... a stolen breath, a short moan, cut off, and soon large, hot hands swam under the scarf around Byakuya's neck.

“Taichou,” gasped Abarai, tugging the scarf down partially.

Byakuya, understanding without words, practically pushed his lieutenant to his neck and he threw his raven locks back as Abarai proceeded to lick up the porcelain column offered to him. A kiss and a small nibble below his ear and Byakuya cried out, wanting to feel more of such exploration.

“Taichou.” Abarai wasn't asking for permission this time. His tongue circled the outer rim and then pushed into the ear. Byakuya gasped aloud, feeling the sensations ripple through him to pool at the base of his spine. Involuntarily his hips shifted forward, earning a groan from Abarai.

_I like that sound_ , Byakuya thought muzzily, biting back another exclamation when his lieutenant let his tongue trace the contours of his ear. The captain moved his hips again, hardness against hardness, and shuddered.

Abarai groaned again. “You're not – possessed – are you?”

“Cut the nonsense,” Byakuya ordered with as much hauteur as he could summon. In the gloom all they could make out were vague shapes. Byakuya buried his face in Abarai's hair, absorbed by the scent and image of fiery silk about him. His fingers curled almost convulsively into the silken strands, kneading the strong neck and sliding over clothed shoulders.

Abarai's hands dropped from Byakuya's back and began massaging the firm muscles of his backside. Byakuya heard a soft whimper and was startled to realize it was from his throat.

Equally surprised, Abarai inquired in a rough whisper, “Should I stop?”

“Don't you dare,” ordered Byakuya thickly. His hips were riding a steady rhythm now, and Abarai had a talented mouth that was making its mark all over his exposed neck and collarbone. The younger male's hands gripped Byakuya's hips and firm fingers ran over hipbones that they found under layers of fabric.

The cloaks fell from their shoulders and pooled over their legs; neither cared enough to notice. Byakuya's movements sped up, not heeding that Abarai had parted his robe enough to lick his chest. His slim elegant fingers tangled into wild scarlet, thumbs brushing and tracing cold ears.

It was decidedly, oddly erotic, feeling only the slick velvet of his mouth and tongue over his own skin, feeling the moist, hot breath, hearing the pants and groans and grunts and occasional half-uttered curses, sensing the tension in hips and thighs and calves and arms as they rocked and tensed and relaxed in matched motion; oddly, decidedly erotic in having to imagine the gleam of perspiration over Abarai's tattooed body, having to picture the brilliant ruby of his hair spread over tanned skin, having to visualize his full lips parted for breath, having to recall dark red eyes darken further with desire and want and  _ohgodsthisisthisisityeshahyesYES-_

And then they were both over the edge, hands clutching and leaving bruises and not giving a damn, mouths seeking each other's blindly.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

“Don't mention this. Ever.”

“Taichou,” said Abarai, trying to restrain an eye-roll, “do you think I _want_ to be dismembered?”

Byakuya fussed with his scarf. “I would not presume to know what you want,” he remarked icily, colder than the weather outside.

After he pulled on his cloak, Abarai suddenly said quietly, “But can I presume that you want me?”

“I do not,” stated Byakuya. “It was a... reaction to a stressful situation, in which my decreased capabilities to reason due to a sudden respiratory ailment and the inclement weather caused me to temporarily lose the facility of rational thought.”

Abarai paused as he worked out the statement. “You were feeling cold and thus you lost your mind?”

Byakuya directed a glare at him. Unfortunately its effectiveness was lost in the dark. “You will not mention this.”

“How about the other time in the office?”

“Abarai-fukutaichou, I'm warning you-”

The redheaded shinigami sounded impatient. “Look, taichou. That's twice you've jumped me. **Twice.** I think that's reason enough for me to believe you have a certain amount of interest in me, at least physically.”

“You were just... handy,” sputtered Byakuya, temporarily derailed by Abarai's frankness.

His lieutenant didn't buy his callousness for a minute. “You expect me to believe Kuchiki-taichou is the kind to leap on random young shinigami for his carnal pleasure?”

“Abarai-fukutaichou...”

“Kuchiki-taichou...” Abarai mimicked. “It's just you and me, here and now, in the dark.” He paused again, and then placed a hand on Byakuya's knee. “Is it so hard to admit that you kinda, maybe, sorta like me?”

As he tried to figure a way out, Byakuya breathed in slowly. Then he let the breath out.

“Abarai-fukutaichou,” he said at last, “I do think you are a very attractive young male.”

“See? That wasn't so hard.”

“But you **are** going out with my sister.”

There was a long beat of silence.

This time it was Abarai who sighed. “She is gonna kill both of us if she ever hears of this.”

“And thus we are back to square one,” commented Byakuya quietly. “No one mentions this, ever.”

“We don't have to mention it,” said Abarai in a resolute tone. “It's not gonna happen again. Right?”

Byakuya twiddled his thumbs. _It's not going to happen again? Damn._

Abarai nudged his knee. “Right, taichou?”

“Right! Right.” Byakuya could only wish he was determined as he sounded. _Maybe I could... No, I shouldn't. But still I'm sure I could... No. that's unethical._ “We'll, uh, keep a professional distance.”

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx


	3. Chasm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya finally faces up to reality.

“May I come in?” Rukia asked outside the study.

Byakuya put down his book. “You may enter.” When the slight girl had come in and closed the door, Byakuya sat forward. “What is it, Rukia?”

“Nii-sama,” she began, and then wrung her hands. Her face flushed bright red. “Nii-sama, I need your help.”

“What kind of help?” asked Byakuya. He was slightly surprised: Rukia never approached him for assistance before.

The girl stared at her hands. “I... I wonder if you could help me find out whether Renji is, um... has he been staying for overtime often lately?”

Byakuya stamped the guilt in his heart down. “No more than usual.”

“And, um... I know that he doesn't converse much with you, but have you noticed him, uh, talking about other people, maybe? Or spending more time with certain people?”

_Oh dear lords._ Byakuya lowered his gaze. “I do not pay much attention to his comings and goings.”  _Well, maybe his **comings,** but definitely not his goings._

_:Kuchiki-sama, you have a dirtier mind than I initially thought,:_ said Senbonzakura in her lilting voice, clearly amused.  _:Who would believe that of the stoic captain?:_

_Be quiet,_ he ordered his zanpakuto.

Rukia nibbled her lower lip. Byakuya felt bad that he wasn't being honest with her, but frankly he had no idea how to broach the subject. At least he had kept his distance from Abarai ever since the snowed-in day, and neither alluded to the events that transpired inside the cabin. Abarai had retreated to the professional aloofness they had before the Rukia incident, and Byakuya was only too happy to let him.

Finally Rukia looked up. “Never mind then, Nii-sama. I shan't bother you further.”

“You are never a bother, Rukia,” he said quietly, and nodded at her half-smile before she left and slid the door shut again. Then he let his head roll back with irritation at himself.

He did love Rukia as his own sister – she was a reminder that Hisana had lived and had loved him, that Hisana had not been a fevered dream of a lonely soul.

At the thought of his late wife Byakuya swallowed a small familiar lump in his chest. With Hisana there had been love before passion, and she had always seemed too frail in his arms. There had been a glow and warmth of a banked fire when they made love.

But with Abarai... He had indulged in his baser passions with Abarai, and part of him hated that his red-haired lieutenant could cause him to lose control. Byakuya hated it, and it thrilled him darkly that he was capable of such overwhelming desire and emotions. He had never thought he was able to feel in that way.

However, Byakuya was aware of the difference. Byakuya loved and missed Hisana, and would always recollect their days together with regret and glad contentment. Byakuya craved and thirsted for Abarai: the heat of that ruby gaze and the silken locks in his grasp, along with the molten bronze of the sculpted body...

Byakuya took pride in recognizing beauty in all forms. But he had crossed the line now.

Abarai was Rukia's. He had seen it in the way the redhead fought for her freedom, in the way he had faced down Byakuya to the point of death. He saw it every time his lieutenant and Rukia walked together along a corridor, when she punched his arm, or when he ruffled her hair.

“What have I done?” he murmured with frustration. “What am I doing?”

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

_Abarai Renji should be outlawed_ , thought the Sixth Division captain irritatedly.  _Or there should be a rule stating shinigami should train fully dressed._

That lieutenant had stripped to his waist while training the rookies in the division dojo. It didn't help that Abarai practically radiated heat like a furnace inside the room. His skin was flushed and gleaming, while his hair was slightly messed up by the exertions, like the very best of bed-heads.

It also irked Byakuya that more than half of those in the dojo were gawking openly at the taut, muscled body and the tattoos that blatantly invited people to try to trace them. He could not show his annoyance though, since he had been the one who told his lieutenant to run the training program so the greenhorns would learn how to hold their swords without stabbing the people next to them. Byakuya didn't enjoy the job.

“A'right! Any questions?” the red-haired shinigami bellowed.

The rookies shook their heads and stood with their training partners, and began the parrying routine Abarai had drilled into them for the past ten minutes. Byakuya breathed out and headed back to his office. If he had to be honest with himself, he had stood there not to check on Abarai's teaching methods but to just admire the man.

_And what about Rukia?_

Byakuya hissed out a breath. He had to maintain this gap between them. It was better for all involved.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

As Byakuya wrung out his hair before stepping into his bath, he remembered the first time he met Abarai Renji.

The boy – he had been a boy then, for all his height and build – the boy Abarai had stood at the door while Byakuya finished informing Rukia of her adoption. Rukia had no say in the matter, not when it was coming from a noble family. At the time Byakuya had not paid any attention to Abarai.

But when the redhead rose through the ranks, Byakuya noticed him. It had been subtle at first, but eventually Byakuya noticed that whenever he passed by Abarai, the youth's reiatsu would grate against his own. Initially it was like an ant's foot stepping on granite, then it firmed up and became more steady, and soon Byakuya paid attention to the brash young flame-haired shinigami's whose eyes trailed his progress and whose reiatsu yearned to swallow Byakuya's own. The challenge was more pronounced when Rukia was with him. Even though the difference in power was painfully obvious, Abarai wanted to overtake him.

Byakuya thought it amusing, in an unfunny way. Then the young shinigami headed to the Eleventh, and then Byakuya sensed the leap in reiatsu standard. No doubt it was due to daily exposure to Zaraki's insane reiatsu pressure; you either became stronger or you crumble.

Someone like Abarai would never crumble, no matter how hard or how often you beat them down.

It had been a whimsical thought on Byakuya's part, asking for Abarai to become his lieutenant. He wanted to see how far Abarai would take his challenge. Judging by the events of Rukia's supposed execution, Abarai would take the challenge all the way.

The heat from the bath was invigorating. Byakuya leaned his head back, looking up at the waxing moon. The half-sheltered bath was one place in his mansion he could truly relax; only was there no one else to watch him.

Only in this bath was he truly alone.

He smiled faintly when he recalled the first time Abarai stepped into his office. Overly courteous, stiff, uncomfortably formal... the sigh of relief that Abarai had given when Byakuya told him he could be less formal and should just treat the office as a place to work, not as a marriage interview.

That hint of humor had made Abarai chuckle, who had almost choked on his own laugh until he saw Byakuya's eyebrow lifted in query.

Now and again Byakuya found himself employing dry wit when communicating with Abarai. Not that there was a need to, but Byakuya wanted to put Abarai at ease. He hadn't realized it then, only that he found it irritating when Abarai was too formal or distant with his captain. Perhaps Byakuya, even then, had wanted something akin to friendship – but was too proud to say so.

“But it's just friendship that you want, is it?” Byakuya murmured to himself. He smiled wryly. There was no point denying it: he wanted Abarai, in a way he had not wanted anyone for a very long time.

It was lust Byakuya was experiencing, he told himself. He had been severed for a long time from his physical needs.

It wasn't love, he knew that.

He loved Hisana, enough to elope with her, enough to face down his father before the other captains, enough to even contemplate joining Zaraki's division and denying his own surname. She, on her part, had followed bravely, never once resenting him for putting her in danger, never once fearing for their relationship, never once faltering in her decision to be his. For her physical frailty, Hisana was stronger and more resolute than anybody Byakuya knew.

Abarai could almost measure up.

Byakuya shut his eyes.  _Abarai, Abarai, Abarai. Why do my thoughts keep circling back to him? I am older than he by a good deal. I should know better._

_I do know better._

_So why do I keep surrendering to my baser passions whenever there is a reasonable excuse?_

_Am I not better than that? Is he not worth more than that?_

He stepped out of the bath. It was long past time for bed.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

_Abarai's hair should be cut_ , Byakuya decided irrationally when he caught his mind wandering for the seventh time that morning. That color was enough to distract anybody. Yet Byakuya could not fault Abarai: the lieutenant was working industriously, head bent at an angle, slight frown between his brows, the brush held incorrectly.

Byakuya strode over. “How many times do I have to remind you?” he inquired, standing on Abarai's right.

“Taichou?” Abarai looked up, startled by the captain's silent approach. “Remind me of what?”

“How to hold a brush.” Byakuya breathed out slowly. “Why do you think I enrolled you into the calligraphy society?”

Abarai grinned lopsidedly. “Punishment?”

Byakuya glared. Abarai subsided and tried to correct his grip. Byakuya watched as the younger male tried to write with the proper hold for a minute before his patience gave out.

“You hold your brush this way,” he said, reaching out and grabbing Abarai's faltering right hand. “Use your whole arm to write, not your wrist. The wrist should remain locked, like this.” Byakuya demonstrated.

Abarai seemed to be leaning back a little and his arm was stiff. Byakuya stared at the redhead. To his amazement Abarai blushed.

Byakuya narrowed his eyes. “You're blushing.”

“Am not,” Abarai muttered a weak denial.

“Why are you blushing?”

“Because... because you've never corrected the way I wrote before.” The whisper was so soft Byakuya's senses had to strain to hear the words. “And if you did... definitely not in this way.”

Tension shot up. Byakuya could feel the heat of Abarai's rough skin beneath his fingers and in his palm. He noted the difference in skin shades. He also noticed the pink on his lieutenant's cheeks. And Abarai's unique scent was far too enticing. The older shinigami suddenly let go of Abarai's hand. The brush tip dotted the document and added unintended punctuation.

“Damn,” Abarai swore and the spell broke.

Byakuya stepped back so quickly he might as well have used shunpo. “Redo that document and make sure you write neatly this time,” he ordered, trying to cover his haste.

His lieutenant sighed and shrugged. “Yes, taichou.”

Byakuya leaned against the wall behind him, trying to calm his thoughts before he had to go back to his desk and face Abarai again for the rest of the afternoon.

“I can't focus with you staring over my shoulder, taichou,” Abarai suddenly said and stood up.

Guilty, Byakuya actually straightened with a jerk. Before he could seek the sanctuary of his desk, Abarai was in front of him and had locked lips with the pale-skinned captain.

The older male's mind blanked out for a beat. The kiss was slow and sensual, not rushed and heated as they had kissed before, but gentle, as if they could do it the entire day. Byakuya's mind reeled. He had never thought Abarai would make the first move – in their past encounters he had been the one giving into temptation.

“Damn,” Abarai swore again, this time a husky murmur by Byakuya's cheek. “I thought I could keep away, but I can't. Taichou, forgive me.”

“Fo-forgive you?” Byakuya realized belatedly that his hands had circled Abarai's broad shoulders and his hands were tangled in silken crimson.

“Forgive me... I can't stop wanting you. I've been thinking of kissing you ever since that day we were snowed in. I just want to kiss you and hold you like this forever,” the redheaded shinigami admitted hoarsely.

Byakuya was surprised, and touched, that Abarai was shaking very slightly. He was nervous; his reiatsu thrummed with fear and anticipation.

“I know this is... There's probably some rule somewhere about a subordinate coming on to a superior, but I'm going crazy not touching you. The entire week... I tried to work off that energy in training, I asked Rukia out, I went out with friends... I got drunk... and all I could think of was you.” Abarai breathed in, breathed out, and pressed his face into Byakuya's cheek. “All I could think of was you.”

The captain stroked his hand down Abarai's broad back, the soft red hair a contrast to rough-woven cotton shikahushou.

The lieutenant clung to his captain, fingers leaving small indentations in Byakuya's flesh. There was hint of a sob when Abarai mouthed the next line against the slender nobleman's cheek. “I never wanted this.”

That silenced Byakuya, even his breathing. He closed his eyes, focused on his heartbeat, and counted to ten before inhaling slowly, as if coming out of a meditative trance. In those few seconds, he saw clearly.

_I never wanted this._

Abarai was conflicted, as he should be, and Byakuya was the cause of that, as he should not have been.

Abarai didn't ask to be attracted to Byakuya until Byakuya showed his desire for Abarai.

Abarai never asked to be involved with Byakuya in ways other than captain and lieutenant until Byakuya crossed the line.

Abarai never wanted to be more than the follower until Byakuya closed the gap.

Abarai never wanted to be torn between Rukia and Byakuya until Byakuya offered him the choice.

_I never wanted this._

Abarai was confused, because he was nothing if loyal and loving, and Byakuya was causing Abarai to question both aspects of himself.

_What about now? Does he want..._

Byakuya forcibly shut down that train of thought. He carefully extricated his hands from crimson hair, and withdrew from a warm embrace. It was painful, but Byakuya knew it would be even more agonizing if he let the affair – that was the word, it was an affair he was conducting behind Rukia's back, with Rukia's lover – continue.

“Don't,” he whispered when the younger male's grip tightened for a fraction. It encompassed all of Byakuya's resolve to utter that single word again. “Don't.”

His redheaded lieutenant paused, hovering in doubt, and then respected his captain's decision. He stepped away, allowing the nobleman space to walk, proud and humbled, to the captain's desk.

The two of them regarded each other across the span of an office, across half an existence, across the impassable chasm of a person's feelings on which they could not, would not trample. Across all the rights and wrongs and rules and regulations and principles and values... Byakuya and Abarai understood each other.

The captain almost smiled, though something in him hardened and shattered. “We need to complete the forms and charts before evening today.”

“Yes, taichou.”

Abarai sat down at the same moment Byakuya did, and both men returned to their tasks.

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

Four months later, Abarai and Rukia were engaged.

Byakuya had gifted the happy couple with a house by a lake, one of the many holiday homes he no longer had a use for; presented Rukia with a set of kimonos for official social gatherings which she, as a lieutenant's fiancée, would need to attend; gave Abarai a book on calligraphy and a book on personal finance.

“I accept you,” Kuchiki Byakuya said, very quietly, at the engagement, “as a brother and into the family.”

Abarai grinned. There was only the tiniest bit of regret in his voice. “Thank you.”

 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It had to end this way. I cannot endure Renji being a disloyal person and cheating on Rukia – it's not Renji if he did so. Neither is Byakuya a man to disregard his wife's sister's feelings nor is he a man to dishonor his calling.  
> But damn. ByaRen is such a sexy pairing.


End file.
